I should care.
I am I am I am.
I am in existence...I think.
I feel like I'm hovering today. Between thought and reality. What reality am I living anyway? A kind of fog has moved in, a haze. I can't decipher if what I'm feeling is even real.
I don't know if it's my lack of decent sleep that's brought this on. Or maybe my overindulgence in drink lately. Maybe it was Thomas Pynchon. I don't know, but this kind of existence is an old friend. An old friend whose visits are not always invited, but whom I've come to tolerate and understand over the years.
Big changes are on the horizon. I've already made the decision, which is HUGE. For me. Now I just wait for it to happen. However I'm feeling a lot more anxious than I would have expected. I can imagine that that these anxieties will only grow in time.
I think I am doing the right thing.
Maybe I should drop some acid. LSD. Nothing like induced psychosis to find out what's really going on in there. As I've learned this week, "Breakdown is to breakthrough," is what RD Lang wrote in the 60s. But then again he ended up permanently crazy didn't he?
Okay. No acid.
But I will get to the bottom of this one way or another.
I am in existence...I think.
I feel like I'm hovering today. Between thought and reality. What reality am I living anyway? A kind of fog has moved in, a haze. I can't decipher if what I'm feeling is even real.
I don't know if it's my lack of decent sleep that's brought this on. Or maybe my overindulgence in drink lately. Maybe it was Thomas Pynchon. I don't know, but this kind of existence is an old friend. An old friend whose visits are not always invited, but whom I've come to tolerate and understand over the years.
Big changes are on the horizon. I've already made the decision, which is HUGE. For me. Now I just wait for it to happen. However I'm feeling a lot more anxious than I would have expected. I can imagine that that these anxieties will only grow in time.
I think I am doing the right thing.
Maybe I should drop some acid. LSD. Nothing like induced psychosis to find out what's really going on in there. As I've learned this week, "Breakdown is to breakthrough," is what RD Lang wrote in the 60s. But then again he ended up permanently crazy didn't he?
Okay. No acid.
But I will get to the bottom of this one way or another.
posted by karlie at 6:54 PM
3 Comments:
karlie, i worry about you. mainly because i never know what's going on in that melon of yours. it's always something original and somewhat weird, so hey, at least you're interesting.
i love you.
hopefully everything will turn out exactly how you want it to.
mkj.
don't worry.
i'm not really a lunatic.
don't think....
ha.
It would be all for naught anyways. I'm a firm believer that everyone is absolutely fucking insane and are not too far away from our cavemen brothers and sisters.
Just because we have televisions and on demand and prozac with a side of honda civics doesn't mean sometimes we just don't want to unload a shotgun through a window or scream bloody murder and go ninja.
You're probably a little crazy, but a little crazy is good...it's essential to living in a world that makes absolutely no sense except for the fact that it makes no sense.
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